How do we become a master communicator, someone who is always able
to influence others in a powerful way?
What happens when we do not get the response that we want? We have
We can choose to blame the other person for not being receptive,
for being unreasonable, close minded, stupid etc... But you know
what? By doing this, there is nothing more we can do about it! We
have shut the door on them.
For traditional communication theory, when two people communicate,
both have an equal, i.e. 50% responsibility, for the success of the
In other words, if A is talking and attempting to sell B an idea. A
can do his best to communicate, but 50% of the success of his
communication lies with B
If B has a closed mind and does not want to listen, the
communication can never be successful. So is B to be blamed for the
Unfortunately, people who accept this theory never become effective
communicators. Why? Because by accepting this theory, we will
always be limited as communicators. We will not always get the
result we want! In fact we will seldom get the results we want.
Does this happen to you? You motivate your staff to work harder,
they don't respond positively, so you give up!
You try to motivate your children to study harder, but it doesn't
work, so you say, 'What's the point? They are just lazy."
You do your best to sell a product to a group of prospects, they
don't buy, so you say, "I guess they are just not interested in
A study of the most influential and impactful communicators in the
world, revealed that they always took 100% responsibility for the
success of their communication.
For example person (A) communicates an idea to person (B), and B
did not respond successfully, still, person A would not lay the
blame on person B.
Person A would take responsibility by accepting that his own
communication was not effective. By doing so, A has the power to
change the communication, until he gets the desired response.
Such great communicators adopt the belief that the meaning of their
communication was the response they got, regardless of their
To describe this further, if they attempted to communicate their
sincerity, but the other person felt that they were insincere, they
would take responsibility accepting that the meaning of their
communication was 'insincerity', even though they intended to be
It could be their tone of voice or body language that made them
seem 'insincere'. They would then change their communication
strategy until they got the response they desired, i.e. being
We must understand that different people perceive the world
differently. Everybody has different internal filters. When you
tell a joke, a group of people may laugh while another group does
not think of it being funny.
This does not mean the second group does not have a sense of
humor. It is just that they perceive humor differently. As a great
communicator, we must take responsibility changing our
communication (joke) until we make our audience laugh.
The power to communicate is one of the most important tools we have
as human beings. In fact, our ability to achieve our goals largely
depends on our ability to communicate and influence other people.
Taking responsibility and having extreme flexibility is the key to
being a master of influence. Taking responsibility for the way we
communicate and for the results we get, we attain absolute power
over the effect of our communication.
To Your Success,